December 13, 2002

Favorite Christmas Movies

CHRISTMAS EVIL

Because of a boyhood trauma during Christmas, a man remains slightly obsessed with the holiday for the rest of his life, becoming a toy maker and keeping track of which children are naughty and nice. After learning of his company's corporate greed he snaps and goes on a killing spree dressed as Santa.

Hey, I think I'm finally getting into this whole Christmas Thing !!!!!

BLACK CHRISTMAS

Festivities turn fatal when obscene phone calls break the serenity and it becomes clear that a psychopath is stalking a sorority house.

SOUTH PARK: Christmas in Iraq

When Santa's sleigh is shot down as he tries to deliver the presents, Cartman is screwed. He and the boys call on Mr. Hankey and Jesus to liberate Santa from his captors and save Cartman from the worst Christmas ever.

ENEMY AT THE GATES

WW2's premier sniper calls a personal truce during Christmas before continuing his record setting killing spree.

A TWISTED CHRISTMAS CAROL

Spoof of the original Dickens classic. What if Scrooge worked at a 7-Eleven and the Ghost of Christmas Past was Elvis ??

BLACKADDER'S CHRISTMAS CAROL

If Ebenizer had any doubt as to whether he should change his ways, that is dispelled when the Spirit shows him what his future will be like if he continues being kind and charitable, and what it will be like if he changes his ways. Ebenezer himself sums up the message here: "Bad guys have all the fun."

MIXED NUTS

A bleak and subversive black comedy about individuals manning a suicide hotline on Christmas Eve and the horrible things that happen when the stress of the holidays is added to the usual stress of living.

MERRY CHRISTMAS MR LAWRENCE

The commander of a Japanese POW camp tries to convice the Allied ranking officer that suicide for him and his men is preferable to internment.

AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE ...

RUDOLF THE RED NOSED REINDEER (Claymation version)

My favorite quote from the movie:
"What's a Christmas tree without sparkly crap all over it??"

Starring:

- Hermey the Elf, who really wants to be an orthodontist and spends most of his time in the workshop yanking teeth out of dolls.

- The evil Mrs Clause, who keeps stuffing Santa full of food, because the children expect a fat Santa.

- Cornelius (whose sled team includes a poodle), goes after the Abominable Snow Monster. His pet pig stumbles while trying to rip out the monster's teeth, and he, the dogs, and Cornelius plunge off a cliff to their grizzly deaths.

- The Ragdoll, a homicidal maniac, but you would be too if you pee'd hydrochloric acid.

- The Misfit Toys, which include a water pistol who shoots jelly, a bird who swims, a cowboy who rides an ostrich, a boat that sinks, a bear with feathers, and an elephant with the pox.

- and who could forget King Moonraiser, the rage-aholic lion who steals toys from kids around the world and brings them to Santa for recycling ??

Posted by NIFAIRIOUS at December 13, 2002 06:54 PM