January 15, 2002

Recycle This!

We're slowly drowning in our own garbage. Do we care ? Apparently not a whole hell of a lot. Is there anything we can do ? Apparently not a whole hell of a lot. Oh ye of the gullible persuasion, ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do to you. Everytime you make that extra effort to recycle a tin can or two, be mindful of the fact that you've freed up additional landfill space in Michigan to KEEP CANADA CLEAN !!

Huh? What?

A little corporate arithmetic is in order here. Gone are the days of the semi-retired guy making a couple of extra bucks hauling trash with an old beat up pickup truck. Gone even are the days of the local entrapeneur who put together a fleet of trucks to service his local metropolitan area. Welcome to the age of BIG TRASH !! We're talking conglomerates here and hugh piles of money to compensate them for transporting ever greater piles of society's leftovers to someone else's backyard. Consolidation is the name of the game today, where small operators are gobbled up by larger companies who are absorbed by regional corporations who are then buried by the national mega corporation. Damn shame someone can't come up with a process to gobble, absorb, and then bury the trash with the same efficiency.

Recycling is the bane of these monster combines. They've pushed their bottom line to the point that the only way to grow is to handle more and more trash. A local example of the lengths to which these "concerned corporate citizens" will go involved a local news team following some trucks around for a while to see what actually happened to the garbage. Items that had been sorted and placed at the curb for recycling went into the same hopper as the less desirable leftovers, and ultimately ended up in the same hole in the ground. Liquid waste that had been earmarked for special disposal areas was sprayed on corn fields for "fertilizer". MMMMMmmmm, makes you want to go right out and eat a cob today! Where's the government while all this is happening? (Shhhhh ... you'll wake them up ... )

Which brings us back (about time) to the KEEP CANADA CLEAN thing. The battle raging currently in Michigan involves the merger and takeover of local county landfills by these megaslobs. Government has to this point run these dumps with the same amazing level of efficiency with which they approach any undertaking, which is to say, none at all. One would thing privatization would be a good thing, no ? No is the correct answer. The bottom line requires that they now IMPORT GARBAGE to keep the stockholders happy. Ninety percent of Canada is unpopulated, and they're sending half their garbage to Detroit! Who sez it has to make sense, eh?

So next time you set a box of recycling by the curb, feel proud of what you're doing to help our neighbor's to the north. Maybe you can whistle "Oh Canada" when the truck pulls up. I'm sure they'll remember us when we're buried to our knees in old Labatt's bottles and holey tuks. (Yah, heh, and I be da Queen of England too, dontcha know ... )

Posted by NIFAIRIOUS at January 15, 2002 06:24 PM